why?

its soon to be year 2008.
and though i jus came back from being with my friends i jus feel so lonely.

i know with friends, life is so much better.
but sometimes i feel tht even with the most kick ass friends in ure life,
you just find ureself so alone sometimes.
it's just occurred to me recently.
no matter how i open myself to someone,
that someone may just stop caring one day.
so what can you do?
you can't say you wasted time on that relationship can you?
because you have had certain memories you've been through tgt.
be it good, or bad.
i guess we cant expect too much in life that sometimes the people we love will just walk away from you one day and you just have to accept that.
i'm not saying that any of my friends have walked out on me yet.
i guess what im saying is that,
we SHOULD treasure every min we're tgt.
so maybe this subject could lead to being punctual.
every min ure late for an appointment is every min you are not building a relationship with the other party.
i dunno why,
im really DREADING year 2008.

mum just spoke with me and my sister today.
she did drive some sense into me i guess.
she told me what's the use of fighting when you can give peace to the person.
and by doing that,
doesn that make you happy.
she made me feel so selfish.
mum really is admirable.
i really didn kno she had to take so much.
although i kno she does have quite a burden.
but, yes i didn kno it was THIS BIG.

she said the world is a better place that way.
and no matter how much you give someone,
that someone may not be forever thankful to you,
but just be happy you did something good because God will reward you.
somehow i find this so true.
since when was i ever thankful.
even if i was,
why do i think i deserve it?
or why do i hide it away, like im ashamed of being helped.
oh wells.
i really hope next year will be better.
in The House, between us and friends around me.
and of course, results.
to the end of this post.
i will still wonder why,
i feel..
so lonely.
okay.
i jus had a damn slack day.
again.

woke up, it was afternoon.
then after having a light lunch i went to watch Bring it On: All or Nothing on my com.
then i went to slp.
again.
hahah thn i woke up went for dinner.
came back and went jogging.
met up wit Aaron for a bit.
then went home.
man, not jogging for a week has certainly made me lazy !
hahah.
did my sit ups and all.
(yes it was lesser somehow)
i think? hahah.
yea.

anyway, yst was fun.
me and Nessa were at Snow City with Kah Hwee and Zi Yi.
we were there for some CIP thing.
so fun !
we jus had to follow this HUGE bunch of kids in there.
they made their own ice cream first so cool pls.
we all saw like liquid nitrogen.
damn cool.
okay,
and i had this damn DAMN CUTE girl la.
she's like 7.
along with her friend.
then we were inside the Snow chamber thing.
they threw snow at me !
omg, i swear it was dirty.
aww but they were really sweet(:
after that we came out to get changed outta the jackets and all?
she and her friend jus ran and hugged me while i was talking to Nessa and went...
bye jie jie.
aww. so cute !
they were so SMALL.

oh wells.
then they were supposed to go upstairs.
while me, Nessa and a few others had to transport 20 log cakes from one of the Omini Theatre cafe's one by one cause it was raining Lions and Dinosaurs !
OMG.
we were so wet la.
thnk god we had Haviannas on.
but our jeans were gone.
GONE man.

thn we helped out upstairs with the catering and all.
we didn eat cause we had dinner aftr tht.
me and Nessa tht is.
after which,
me and Nessa tried to rush off to meet Sherwin and Celine for dinner.
my god.
the rain was HORRID !
HORRID I TELL YOU !
okay, we were so damn drenched.
JEC was flooding la !
and it was muddy water and all !
GROSS.
and my jeans made me look like a Fish Monger with them folded up.
i so should have worn skinny's,
so they'd look like 3/4s hahah.
yeap.

i felt so bad making Sherwin wait for an hour at Dover mrt.
i really tried my best to rush there okay !
anyhow,
thnk god Celine didn wait long either.
we had Fish & Co.
yum.
and ANNOYING as Sherwin can get.
he paid for everything.
and refused my 9bucks.
GEE.
me and Nessa shared.
oh wells, we all left aftr tht.

i was surprisingly full tht day.
got home and jus did the usual online thing.
and GOSH !

i HAVEN studied !
i've been telling myself to since since..
last month !
AHH !
oh wells.
and im broke too.
okay im signing off !

and i love you Nessa darling !
always will ! (:
i am tired and REALLY REALLY confused.
but i must press on.
Nessa says i should let go.
she knows i wont.
so she said, be strong anyway.
i love Nessa.

Blue-Breathe Easy

Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine

Why did I lie
Why did I wander where to fly
Ooh why
Ooh why

And I.....can't breathe easy
I cant sleep at night
Till your by my side
No I.....can't breathe easy
I cant dream yet another dream without you lying next to me
There's no way.

Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry.
Curse me inside
I wont forget, no I wont baby I
Don't know why
(Don't know why)
I left the one I was looking to find.

Ooh why
Ooh why

WHY

I......can't breathe easy
I cant sleep at night
Till your by my side
No I.....can't breathe easy
(Breathe easy)
I cant dream yet another dream without you lying next to me, there's no air.
No I.........can't breathe easy
I cant dream yet another dream without you lying next to me, there's no air.

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore.
I want you back in my life
That's all I'm breathing for.
Ooh I.........
Tell me why..........
Ooh wont you Tell me why.
I cant dream you had another dream without you lying next to me, there's no air.

no no no no no
I.......can't breathe easy
Cant sleep at night
Till your...by my side
Yeah
I.....Can't breathe easy
No I...
I can't dream yet another dream without you lying next to me, there's no air.
There's no air.
omg im so tired.
but i jus have the sudden urge to blog.
so here goes.

on Thurs i went to the jap thing again.
like we're bringing a grp of students round sg.
well,
of course where they'd like to go.
and YES.
i got GIRLS !
they were so ahem.
KAWAII.
yeap yeap.
we went to Chinatown first.
and i swear little stuff amuses them.
and i felt so bad whn they really wanted to stay and all.
but there's really nth at Chinatown besides the 3 for 10dollar deals.
okay, we were taking the train the WHOLE day pls.
so i told them tht there's nth much left at Chinatown and let's go SHOPPING :D
so i brought them to Vivo.
oh i must tell you my heart was in my mouth for sometime.
this happened.
we were rushing for the train
and they were seriously jus BEHIND me. ( so i thought)
i went in, and like ushered thm to hurry.
3 of them made it.
and then the STUPID train went BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP.
DOORS CLOSING.
i stuck my hand out.
(those train's are supposed to have censors right ! )
but no.
it jus closed.
i was like AHH !
thn i went "next" with my hand kinda.
and i alighted with the other 3 at the next stop.
thn i jus kept staring at the "next train" how long thing.
omg seriously.
thn the next train came.
thn i saw them i was like AHHH HENG PLS !
okay,
we got to Vivo.
they came up frm the escalator and went WHOA.
as if Vivo was some muesuem?
oh wells.
they didn want to go into any clothes shop at all.
like the typical Mango and all that we all love.
they'll jus go.. "No."
lol.
i was like shit shit !
we travel so far thn got nth for them to shop how how !
thn i brought them to those Action City and all.
omg they love those kinda things !
thn i brought them to eat.
Food Republic.
typical.
i was trying to get them to choose, rice or noodles.
i had to call the guy in charge to translate !
my god.
i got chicken rice.
i was carrying 6 bowls of soup at first la.
they so nicely helped me there aftr (:
they eat DAMN NEAT can.
super la !
thn i was trying to say, dessert?
they didn kno wad i was saying but..
i think they'd guess tht aftr th main bit.
must be dessert.
they looked up the "Jap-Eng" translate thing.
"wad do u recommend?"
and thn i went "Chotto Mande"
and i came back with 5 bowls of ice kachang.
and they told me they wanted to go to Taka.
so aftr tht we went.
(me feet were killing me alr)
my shoes are uncomfortable.
i still love my Havainnas.
okay.
Taka?
same thing.
talking hall.
those kinda things agn.
thn they wanted to go to the cd shop.
okay, not much jap artiste la.
thn they were so KAWAII by the Kalm's shop.
yea aftr tht we rushed to DFS.
and they so nicely presented me with gifts !
omg so sweet right right !
a fan and some tea cloth thing.
and pieces of paper tht wrote like wad they do,name,wad they like etc.
they're handwriting is DAMN NEAT.
gee.
and i gave them a group hug twice.
awwww.
then we took photos (:
and i left.

BHAM.
MANGO I SEE YOU !
and i knew wad i wanted.
but !
i saw this AWESOME dress.
another one?!
YES I KNO.
hahah.
okay i bought wad i wanted anw.
and i am BROKE.
SERIOUSLY.
BEYOND BROKE !
hahahah.

thn i left for holland to wait for Truddy.
we wanted FREE starbucks.
well, its those charity things?
u pay wadever amnt u want la.
i waited for her at the mkt in th mean time cause she was meeting me at 530 whn it was only 415.
i was reading my book and thn i got so bored.
i cleared my wallet.
and before i kno it,
truddy was calling me.
and she was alr queuing pls.
hahahah yup.
for the record she was EARLY.
prolly cos she got a lift frm Raynard's cab lol.
i paid 2 for starbucks and so did she.
i swear some ppl are jus so stingy.
they plong like 50cents inside.
okay, i understand if ure broke.
but i seriously saw smth blue.
oh tht blue note ahem hahah.
okay thn we went back to th mkt to sit and talk.
she's DAMN FUNNY did i mention.
hahahah.
thn Ben arrived.
so we had to queue.again.
for him lol.
and i met EUNICE !
ahhh !
i tried to scare her but she had no reaction.
she aftr i flew in front of her.
she still lag like 2 secs.
OH HEY !
wth stupid girl lol.
oh wells,
aftr we got Ben's drink we jus sat back at the mkt and talk and laugh.
Ben's desperate i swear HAHAHAH.
okay.

FRIDAY.

today ! (well i kno its pass 12,wad the heck !)
i went back for trgn in sch !
aww i miss my juniors MUCH !
they had friendly today (:
with FMSS.
oh and did i mention the new coach is fugly.
sorry.
he looks like humpty dumpty !
okay.
and qtss is under so much renovation?!
and !
their temp. classrooms are AIR CON.
argh.
went to the GO to try and collect pris's cert.
ahhahah.
but she owe's a book, $18.
so she'd have to get one first lol.
she has to come back.
again.hhahaha.
thn we went to talk to Mr. Lau, cause he's leaving and all.
and he said the upper sec might be air con !
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH UUUUNNNNNFFFFAAAIIIRRRR !
hahahah wadever la.

we went to the canteen.
omg so many memories.
wit you and my RETARDED kick ass friends.
aww.
thn me and Pris left for town.
we bought Tori-Q and Sushi to eat.
we shared okay hahah.
and we shared Soup Spoon which sucked.
ARGH.
frickiin SALLLTTTYYY la lol.
okay thn we went walked round Paragon abit and headed to Taka.
my ankle's were DEAD.
PAINFUL.
half of it frm thurs.
and my bag was utterly heavy thnks to my work and my GRAPHIC CAL.
whn Choo came i stayed for another 10 mins and left.
i was so tired la !
went home, shower.
and..
HEROES !
muahahaha.
thn i slept till dinner.
and aftr dinner?
i was a good girl !
i tried to do some work.
i did.
but it felt like nth cause i dno hw to do so many !
ahhh !
okay, i cant wait till Sunday !
Ash's party.
(SHE DOESN READ MY BLOG SO...)
and i think im meeting Nessa The Bestfriend tmrw.
to get Ash's present.
and wth.
Nessa's so tired frm her trip aww ):
okay im gg off.
GOSH !
its near 2 ! wth !
okay bye ! (:

christinecris
28121990
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